everything you want
by unravel
Summary: Quinn/Finn/Puck; "It's not even his baby, not that he knows that, but he's trying.  But it all feels so empty to her now.  It means nothing because she doesn't feel that way she thought."


Eventually, she comes to terms with the fact that she's now "that girl who got kicked out of her house". Sure, she used to watch all those stories on the news about runaways and hear about girls who got kicked out, but that would never happen to her. She would never do anything to make her loving parents mad enough to throw her out. She hadn't realized the kind of person she was, though.

Finn lets her have his bed, joking that it's too small for him anyways. He stays in the room late into the night though and holds her. Most of the time she cries and he rubs her back and tells her it's going to be alright. Quite often he doesn't even know the real reason she's crying though.

He's always there for her, always willing to get her whatever weird thing she suddenly needs to consume. He tells her she's beautiful when she complains about how fat she is. He takes all the yelling and the screaming for no reason. And then she cries and he thinks it's baby hormones but she knows it's because she's putting him through this when, if he knew the truth, he wouldn't do any of these things. Something inside of her wants to hope he would still keep her if he knew the truth, that he would still do all of this. But another part of her knows that that's not fair.

When she's lying in bed at night, she knows she should care about him more. She should feel more for him. He does so much, he says he loves her, that this is her decision. It's not even his baby, not that he knows that, but he's trying. But it all feels so empty to her now. It means nothing because she doesn't feel that way she thought.

Sometimes she tells Finn she's going over to Santana's and she walks down to the corner where he can't see her climb into Puck's truck. He drives her out to the field next to the high school and they just sit in the bed of the truck with their legs hanging off the side and he doesn't even make her talk like Finn does sometimes. Maybe he'll even hold her hand if she reaches for his when she needs to feel connected to something.

She feels like a jigsaw puzzle. Finn is trying to put the pieces together, he's trying to understand. But there are things missing from his puzzle, pieces he can never understand or no or doesn't want to acknowledge. His idea of her is too perfect. And she can't live up to it. But, slowly but surely, Puck is putting the puzzle together. When she holds his hand in his lap when they're sitting in the bed of the truck staring out across the field, he'll rub his thumb over the side of her hand. It feels like… something travels up her spine and clicks in her head and she closes her eyes and just breathes and she can be somewhere else. Puck has more puzzle pieces and he knows how to put her puzzle together. She knows he can do it.

When it all falls apart, when Quinn realizes everyone knows, they've known for a while now, and it was just a matter of time before someone had the guts to let the secret spill out, it happens in slow motion. She's sitting in the choir room, not even talking to Puck who's sitting in the row behind her, just reading her book and waiting for practice to start. The door slams open. Finn walks right up to her and asks her the question she had always been expecting but know can't find it in herself to answer it. Finn looks to Puck and repeats his question. Puck stands. Everything happens in slow motion as Puck practically jumps over to tackle Finn to the ground. But Finn is bigger and can get the upper hand and starts to punch. And Quinn is out of her seat, screaming at them to stop but powerless to actually do anything. Finally Mr. Schuester pulls them apart. Quinn can't even hear anything but she knows what Finn is asking. So she tells him. And his reply stings her more than she thought it would.

After Glee she doesn't even know what to do. She can't go back to Finn's. Well at some point she has to, but where can she go now? She's sitting out on the bench outside the school, hands on her pregnant stomach when he sits down next to her.

"What are you doing?" She stares straight ahead, not letting herself turn to him at his words.

"Sitting."

"Quinn…" Why is he here? She told him she couldn't do this with him. She can't keep it. Finn finding out the truth doesn't change the fate of the baby growing inside of her. If she can't raise it with Finn, she definitely can't raise it with Puck. Quinn closes her eyes tightly.

"Can we just… sit? If you have to be here, just… sit." She looks over at him seriously and he nods. And this time he grabs her hand and puts it in his own lap. Both of his hands cover her much smaller one, holding it tightly, like he thinks she's going to run away. They sit like that for a very long time.

"It's going to be okay." Her eyes are closed when he speaks and she looks over at him again.

"What?" He's looking right at her when she turns and his eyes find hers.

"It's going to be okay. Everything will be okay. You'll come live with me, I'll explain everything to my mom. You'll live with me. I'll take care of you." And she falls over, collapsing against him and his arms wrap around her tightly. He buries his face in her hair. And it occurs to her that everything she wanted Finn to be is what Puck is now.


End file.
